Don’t worry readers, they didn’t stop there.  “But what about porn” They are both wondering.  My oldest chimes in, working from his earlier thought, “should we wait to watch porn until after have we have sex.  That way we can learn from our natural instincts.” “That’s a really good point,” I encourage, “Learning with your partner with your natural instincts is a great choice.  It’s hard to explain exactly how porn can affect your ideas of sex because you guys haven’t had those feelings yet, haven’t held hands with anyone yet, or had crushes.” I help them feel empowered in their opinions as best as I can. I continue, “So, one thing that can happen if you start watching porn at a young age or too often, besides developing unrealistic expectations, you can become addicted.” “Oh, like a drug,” says Dylan. Oh shit – I hate the whole pornography is a drug text.  How can I fix this? “No, not necessarily. It’s like any other behavior that can be turned into a habit and taken too far.  There are some people, for example, who can drink alcohol just fine without becoming addicted, but others might become addicted quite easily.  Porn is the same. You just have to be mindful about what you watch, how often you watch it and so forth.” “If you become curious to watch porn before you’re ready to have sex.  Just let us know and when you’re ready dad and I can point you in the right direction.  Some porn just isn’t as good at keeping expectations realistic.” At this point I am starting to think about human trafficking, one of the reasons my husband and I are hesitant about the porn industry.  It is hard to be sure the actors are performing without being under duress. I am not sure I want to go in the direction with my 10- and 13- year old.  But, usually when it comes to these really hard topics I just go for it, because, well, I know they need to learn about it one day and they might as well hear it from me first. Ethan, “So you guys can show us when we’re ready.” Me, “Well, we won’t watch it with you.” Ethan, “Why not?” Me, “That might be a bit weird.  By pointing you in the right direction we mean to websites that are ethical and have better perspectives.  There are some websites that make sure that the people making the videos want to be there. There is something called human trafficking and sex slavery, where they force people to have sex in front of cameras.  Those people are not making the choice to be there. We can talk more about that topic later.” By this time, we had parked and turned off the engine.  I don’t know if they had more questions about human trafficking; but we did not get to it at that point.  I breathe a sigh of relief, another tough question answered. I open the door into our home, see my daughter working on an art project at the counter, and realize how fast time flies.